I was feeling really down, withdrawn and isolated. I was dealing with a lot, not eating right, and I was thinking about harming myself. I just had no hope, and I also felt really guilty all the time.
I eventually reached out to my mum, she was a little scared because she didn’t know I was feeling so bad, but she was there to help me. She took me to see my GP, and from there I was able to connect with a psychiatrist and a counsellor. They listened to me, did not judge, allowed me to talk about what was bothering me, and validated my feelings.
I also signed up for counselling at UCD but this service was full so they gave me vouchers to avail of counselling at another provider with the costs covered. This really helped me out.
The staff were compassionate, non-judgemental, listened. I felt very vulnerable and very self-conscious being there, just because I didn’t know who to trust (not because of anything that the staff did). I was grateful to them and to UCD for their support.
I also found it very difficult to be honest about my feelings because I had spent so long suppressing them and lying about them. I would tell only the partial truth to the psychologists about how I was feeling. Soon though, I realised that this is part of their job, and my withholding information is only to my own detriment.
I now feel grateful and loved, I reconnected with my family in ways that I felt unable to before. It was liberating to be more honest about how I was feeling – I previously felt very scared to say a lot of these things out loud. I feel incredibly grateful for the support of my parents.